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Would you love a monsterman... by zorm Would you love a monsterman... by zorm
Haven't drawn my parody couple for a while, but after reading the brain-melting Twilight series I got so many inane plotling ideas that this had to be drawn.

Hiid and the crazy warlord start eventually getting along 'much better', but she soon begins dreading the consequences. What if something abnormal that'll break your ribs and pelvis rapidly infests your insides... It's especially worrisome as she has ages back derived certain assumptions about Khran's bloodline, no matter what he claims. And egads, aren't those folks fertile...

There exists a book called Rupturing the Fawn of Morning in the Iota Sphere universe. It's about rainbow-furred werewolves that glow in the full moon, and it involves a single monster pup. Hiid has read it, and knows about the laws of fantasy. ;D


I know the pic's on the wonky side, but it's quick-ish joke tosh, so I don't really care this time.

At least Khran's not sparkling in the sunlight. That would be... abominable.

The Curse of Rha-kan'Ocka belongs to me.

ETA: If you don't get the title, it's from Lordi's song. [link]
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:iconblackbirdink:
BlackBirdInk Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
mmm-k so i stared at the cave for a while.... then hehehe you kill me XD
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:iconemmacabre:
Emmacabre Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Ha; beautiful! Reminds me of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, if Disney had taken it a step further.
Great job! I love his thick, curly hair, and their dreams are very cute. :)
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2009   Digital Artist
:lol: I admit I have taken a handful of influences from that film, although Khran's an elf and rather more human-shaped than the Beast.
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:icont3h3r3ee:
t3h3r3ee Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I would love a monster man! Great job, love the lines, and the dreams are awesome! :giggle:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2009   Digital Artist
Thanks. ^^
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:iconshadoweyemoony:
ShadowEyeMoony Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2009
Yahahaha, Hiid looks SO SCARED! Poor little thing. Although I'd be scared as well... :D
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:iconslayerv2:
slayerv2 Featured By Owner May 15, 2009  Student Filmographer
i think its rather cute , i love this pic.
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner May 31, 2009   Digital Artist
:lol: Thanks.
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:icongwadahunter2222:
gwadahunter2222 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Very funny :rofl:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2009   Digital Artist
Thanks. :D
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:icongwadahunter2222:
gwadahunter2222 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
no prob ;p
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:iconkaliphantom:
KaliPhantom Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
He looks so peaceful. She looks so scared. :giggle: I'm torn between thinking that baby is adorable and terrifying. I'm not sure my mind will allow it to be both… :fear:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2009   Digital Artist
Heh, of course that furball is an exaggeration, but perhaps she has some valid concerns, as Khran is dreadfully hairy. We had some talk down there about any possible human/elf hybrids, and I don't think they'd look exactly like mountain trolls. ;D More like big-boned humans with some magical talent.
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:iconkaliphantom:
KaliPhantom Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Well, of course, but I still don't know whether to be truly scared or not. :giggle: You're probably right about how it'd really turn out.
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:iconstokerbramwell:
stokerbramwell Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2009
HA!
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2009   Digital Artist
I only wonder how this kind of devil's mongrel ought to be named. :( A mumbo-jumbo akin to 'Renesmee Carlie' doesn't apply, because the elvish names are already utterly horrible.
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:iconstokerbramwell:
stokerbramwell Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2009
And that should stop you...why? XD
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2009   Digital Artist
I wouldn't know how to name him. :( In a universe, where Qwertyui is a legitimate name, even Zxcvbnmöäåasdfghjkl would just be too normal.

Besides, something in the lines of Hiie'vees Gheldamaaz would merely bear the same meaning as everything else, as this is twisted Finnish we're talking about. :( I'm in a true quandary with this hideous dilemma.
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:iconrazzek:
Razzek Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
This is hilariously awesome in so many ways. XD
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2009   Digital Artist
Thanks. ^^
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:iconsilentsteel:
silentsteel Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
I seriously still want to buy a copy of TCoRO when it's out. I enjoy this so much!

. . . . and EW Twilight. I've been avoiding those books after just finding out that the vampires freaking sparkle. :p Dear god, I didn't even know about that c-section thing . . . *shudder*
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Heh, thanks. If there'll be anything related to Twilight, it'll be parody. You know how they have that book called The Chronicles of Glingeglingetinkleland and the handsome boy elf Legless Bigfigleaf (renamed to Liebenslied Hugefigleaf Vineslayer in the edited version)? It'll be written along those lines. ;D

Uh, yeah, that c-section. Bella gets pregnant with Edward's monster-hybrid human-vampire Mary Sue abomination, which starts breaking her bones while in the womb (!). She apparently can't survive the popping-out process, so dear Eddie helps out. With his teeth. Because the product of Eddie's sparkling dingdongdoodah is in a cocoon of some sort, and nothing else can break that but vampire teeth. It's such wtf-ery that trying to empty a river with a teaspoon makes more sense.
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:iconsilentsteel:
silentsteel Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2009
*cackles* That part made my laugh my head off, the first time I read that section. And I'm a pretty big Tolkien fan - thank you! :) Parody away! :D

And dear GOD that is NASTY. :P Massive WTF. Okay, these aren't vampires, they're aliens. Ugh. And I thought the Black Jewels trilogy was bad (and it is, it's a grotesque orgy of angst, torture fetish, and self-loathing).
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2009   Digital Artist
Glad you liked that bit. :D I'm actually a huge Tolkien fan myself, but there's just something juicy about ridiculing the things you like. Guarh'amaaz G'Uhageid falls again under this title. Sometime when I pinned down his basic characteristics I thought, "What if Gandalf had been a lascivious ol' pervert instead of the grumpy, prudent bachelor...?" And he's probably my favorite character in LOTR. XD

Black Jewels trilogy? Never heard of it. Any good for parody/self-torture reading?
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:iconsilentsteel:
silentsteel Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2009
*cackles* Wonderful! :D And then there's Ghirn in his life. ^_^

As to the Black Jewels trilogy? Yeah, it's really high on both accounts - parody AND self-torture reading. Pretty basic english, kinda bland at times in writing style. And I swear, the author is obsessed with sex (and usually not even vaguely in an erotic way it seems), mutilation, torture, cannibalism . . . and the only thing that saves the 'heroine' from being a RAGING Mary Sue is that it's never told from her point of view. She's still a Sue, but it's at least a little different.

Oh, and nobody gets to have a happy ending. I normally don't mind this, but the Authoress seemed to go out of her way to kick the puppy for everybody.
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:iconrancidgirl666:
rancidgirl666 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
lol when I got this in meh messages and read the tittle, I thought for a moment tht the big guy is a parody of Mr. Lordi XDDDDDDD
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Nope, I created Khran before I even started listening to Lordi. :D I guess we Finns just inherently like trolls and monsters.
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:icontassos13:
Tassos13 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
ROFL! Everything about this pic is effing epic! From the Lordi Lyrics to the hidden references to his goofy grin. :XD: :+fav:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Thanks. XD
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:iconkingkaarle:
KingKaarle Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
Heh, omasta mielestäni tämä on kyllä aika herttainen kuva. :D Ja herttinen tuota hauislihasta :O

Tuo Khranin hymy on ihana, kuten molempien ilmeet muutenkin. Aijai. Tällaisia olisi hauska nähdä lisää. :XD:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Kiitti. :D

Noh, täytyy myöntää, että tällaisia hirviöromanssihempeilyjä on ylen hauska piirtää. :lol: Jos vaan tuota aikaa riittäisi enemmän ja olis inspistä istua koneen ääressä (mikä ei ainakaan kauniilla säällä luista). Mulla on jotain vanhempia pulustelukuvia tuolla gallerian syövereissä, mutta tosiaan vähään aikaan ei ole tullut näitä raapusteltua.

Joo, Khran on hirveä mörssäri. Pituutta n. 2,5m ja painoa yli 400kg. Joskus nuo rajat sen koolle asetin ja nyt yritän piirtää mittojen mukaisen. :D
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:iconegilsterkr:
EgilSterkr Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009
:laughing: hyvät ilmeet ja yksityiskohdat!
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Kiitokset. :D
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:iconsasuga:
Sasuga Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009
I think it would be worth the risk. ~;3 Besides, that baby's adorable!
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
:lol: Perhaps they'll eventually have kids, but that furball is obviously a gross caricature. I don't think birthing one would be impossible for Hiid, though, as she's quite wide around the hips. And considering the elvish race, there naturally exist some individuals of her height (the average height for females is 6,5ft) and bone structure, and they have managed to whelp their litters. XD

Khran may seem monstrous, but he's big even for one of his own kin. When I was pinning down the basic qualities of these characters, I asked around whether I ought to make their size difference a bit more 'realistic'. People didn't want me to change them, so they retain the full parody aspect. ;D The average male height in his universe is 7ft. They're a deal more heavy-set and bigger-boned than humans, but not that different anatomically.

When it comes to Twilight parodies, I however don't think Khran'll be doing c-sections with his fangs. :fear:
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:iconsasuga:
Sasuga Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
Heh heh, yeah, the furball is clearly a joke, but I just think it's cuter than real babies. :love:

I'm glad you didn't change their size difference, it's really charming and amusing. Besides, I've known real-life couples with almost the same difference, porportionally, so it's plausible.

Wait ... did they really DO that in Twilight? It's such a ludicrous series that it's hard to tell when someone is joking. I thought the whole "sparkling" thing was just an internet joke until someone told me it's actually in the story. :omfg:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
I wish it were a joke, but after reading Breaking Dawn I know for a fact that Edward does a c-section on Bella WITH HIS TEETH to get Renesmee out. It was disturbing. :x

I didn't really want to change the proportions either; it's so much funnier to write about oddly juxtaposed couples. XD On the other hand, the way the plot's progressing now, I don't think I'll manage to introduce much 'normal' romance into it anyhow. The only other active couple I currently have is Guarh'amaaz/Ghirn, and they're polar opposites. I have plans for Gheldah [link] , but that'll be another half-parody relationship.

Oh, and the mental images about the hamster! :lmao: (I read the whole convo down there.)
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:iconsasuga:
Sasuga Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
Oh ... I had so hoped the c-section wasn't true. :raincloud: Ugh. Well, I suppose I can thank Stephanie Meyer for lowering the bar so much that now I could probably publish just about anything successfully. ~:P

Anyway, the oddly contrasting couples are more entertaining than when people who are similar get put together. In addition to the humor in it, I think it feels like they really have something special if they stay together despite being wildly different. ~:3
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:icontassos13:
Tassos13 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
Considering how big those boys are... her belly would probably be the same size as a woman having triplets. :fear:
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Actually, I'm not sure how big she'd get. Khran's huge even for his own kin (average male height is 7ft, he's 8; average female height is 6,5ft), and therefore the size difference appears even more ludicrous (which is the purpose, of course). :lol: It's mostly about pinning down how sizable the elvish kids (or any hybrids) are as babies, but their physical development varies. Some reach their full height at 20, some only near their first hundred. The development of muscle bulk isn't in sync with humans either. They start getting stronger around 30 or upwards, but they do inherently have bigger bones and sturdier frames than humans.

Hiid has big hips, though, so I'd say she's well capable of birthing a li'l trollpup, when the time comes. ;D
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:iconsasuga:
Sasuga Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
Possibly ... but Khran's a wizard, maybe he can just teleport the baby out when the time comes. ~;3
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:icontassos13:
Tassos13 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
Since when are men that considerate? XD
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:iconsasuga:
Sasuga Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
If he wants to ensure that his "longboat" will ever get to charge into that "cave" in the future, I'm sure he'll get considerate pretty fast. ~;3
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:icontassos13:
Tassos13 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
:rofl:
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:icongarvals:
Garvals Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009   Digital Artist
Yep - i also think that baby will be awesome. Awww. :D
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:iconsasuga:
Sasuga Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009
Yeah! Plus he looks like maybe he's stretchy enough to come out easier ... like a hamster!
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:iconkerrick:
kerrick Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009
Do I get extra points for recognizing the Lordi lyrics? :D
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Here's an e-cookie. :cookie:

There seems to be an exceptional amount of Lordi-cognizant people on my watchlist. XD
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:iconbiskuits:
Biskuits Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009
Haha, I love it! I quite enjoy your "quick, jokey" style! The facial expressions are so fun, and gah, I love that big, beefy, hairy arm XD Super swell! <3
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:iconzorm:
zorm Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2009   Digital Artist
Thanks. :D I kept laughing at the expressions myself.
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