Meeting elves isn't always about listening to their wistful hymns about Elbereth Gilthoniel beneath the softly cascading light of the silvery heaven-lanterns.


Hiid risked a peek upward. Towering on the sand next to her was a...

Bloody damnit.

Just... No way. No bloody way. This could not be. No damn way.

Well...

It was an elf. Or as elvish as one could get without turning into a comely troll.

---

Hiid could only stare at the male in utmost disbelief.

His appearance seemed to be ripped straight off from those daft online holo-RPGs bearing names like Realms of Harmcraft and Terminal Fangasm. He was a bit over seven feet tall, and as wide as a barn door around the shoulders. Odd bits of colorful leather and fur had been sewn together to form some kind of severely outdated trousers. Bangles, teeth necklaces, scraps of armor, gauntlets, plaited hair, armbands, and swirly tattoos had been randomly added here and there to increase the general chaos. Yet absolutely the worst bit was the combination of blue skin, thick fangs protruding over the upper lip, long pointed ears, and the stupendous curvy sword he hefted in one hand as if it weighed less than a balloon. As a bonus crackpot effect he possessed a big, bushy beard that had been braided into three long plaits and threaded with rings and silvery string.

Blue skin? Breeches? A bloody SWORD? Braided beard? Seriously. Could someone possibly get any dorkier? Had the girl really been dropped into some inane hologame or the music video of one of those heavy metal bands praising brotherhood and barbarian glory whilst wearing pelts and flinging around fake axes? Who in the seven hells would use a sword in a modern society of-

With that, Enkev realized that this truly was not Iota Sphere, and that the trouble was real albeit so absurd in its very essence. Her disbelief had momentarily overcome the fear. Suffering from a severe lack of words, she solely gawked at the walking ludicrousness with a lopsided grimace.

Blue skin and fangs, bloody hell... There should have been at least some sort of creational law prohibiting the materialization of arbitrary fairytale creatures. What next? A skull-headed muscleman riding an overswollen panther?

---

It --- was a female, judging by the hairless face and a notable increase of clothing around certain areas.

She had the kind of shape your conventional Valkyrie recruit would have been proud of. The huge breastplate had cups something in the lines of DDDDDD++++superextramegalarge, and one could have cracked bricks with that jaw. The fact that she was almost as tall as the standing elf aided matters nohow. Even so, you quite could not nick her a dirty troll-wife either. Her overburnished armor could have been used as a disco ball, and the face had a feminine, soft quality to it in spite of the strong chin and fangs.


Characters: Hiid Enkev, Captain Gha'enbesch, and Greidr'eraas (G'Uhageid). The last is Guarh'amaaz's granddaughter. I don't too often draw female Rha-kan'Ockians, but she's a good example as of what kind of physique they possess compared to the males.

Note that the laws of fantasy don't apply to Hiid, and she scarcely appears like a sparkly princess in a royal ball after a week's worth of hobbling through inhabited waste with neither combs nor soap in sight. And Rha-kan'Ocka unfortunately doesn't hoard friendly unicorns and tweety songbirds that might help such damsels in distress.


The Curse of Rha-kan'Ocka belongs to me.